He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
