we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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