absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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