It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My bed smells like the plague
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
