Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
