Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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