I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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