You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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