im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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