i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's official drugs can't kill me
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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