Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
