i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
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i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
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As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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