ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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