Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
