do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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