Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
