Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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