i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
