I cannot find my penis.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
