In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
