i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
