what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
