I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
