worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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