Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
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There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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