Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My dick has a subreddit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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