Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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