it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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