I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
