I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
