You just made me feel so damn special
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
