Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
