So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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