Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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