Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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