how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
