Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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