i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
