So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
