Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You are the jesus of drinking
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
