i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
