If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
