3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
