You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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