WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
