i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
