Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
