It's a beautiful day for a hangover
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
