8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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