before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
