Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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