Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize