I seem to have left my pride at pride
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
