So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
