do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
