I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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