Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
