if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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