My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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