Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
