Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
